so the one piece of advice that I am

always giving my clients is be

reasonable

and once again that comes down on the

parallel tracks of

you have to be reasonable for

professional purpose and you have to be

reasonable for a personal purpose

you have to be reasonable professionally

because strategically that is the best

approach when you appear before a judge

and the judge wants to know what your

position is on say parenting time or

support or the distribution of assets it

is so important that the judge hear you

take a reasonable position on that issue

because how you present on one issue is

how the court is going to judge you as a

litigant overall and you always want the

judge to have that presumption of

reasonableness that judge knows when you

say something when something comes out

of your mouth and you’re asking for

something reasonable the judge will

presume that what you’re doing is the

right thing you know I’ve been

practicing for 25 years and this has

been my mantra for 25 years and I’m able

to tell my clients that if they retain

me when I stand up before a judge a

judge is going to presume that I’m

asking for something reasonable a judge

is going to presume that I’m looking for

something that’s in the best interest of

children that’s what I’ve created my

career on this is why when I walk into a

courtroom a judge is going to be

inclined to Grant what I’m asking for on

behalf of a client because the judge

knows for 25 years I have not strayed

from that principle of ask for what’s

reasonable so that gives my client the

same presumption of acceptance by a

court and that’s so important going into

the litigation process

but while that might be the best

strategic approach in being reasonable

it’s also the best personal approach

because I’m in your life now during your

divorce when I leave the person in your

life is going to be your former spouse

or your former partner or the parent of

your child

and you’re going to have years dealing

with that person after I’m in your life

so if in the process of the dissolution

of the marriage or the dissolution of

the partnership

you are reasonable you’re creating

a reasonable basis for co-parenting a

reasonable basis for a post-divorce

relationship and if you can start

developing

that Foundation

during the divorce process during the

dissolution process you are in such a

better place personally to proceed in a

fair and reasonable and stable way

post-divorce and post dissolution than

you would have been if you were

unreasonable and you turned the

litigation process into a process where

the relationship phrase more as opposed

to finding a place where you can proceed

forward into the future in a far better

and more stable place in the

relationship

foreign

I would have to say more my Mentor just

as I would have to say my hero is my

father my father is a lawyer

and

when I was eight years old my mother

asked me at my birthday blowing out the

candles what do you want to be when you

grow up and I said I want to be a lawyer

just like that and I never strayed very

far from that commitment to Growing Up

and being like my father but the way he

served as a mentor for me in this

practice

and he practices real estate law not

family law but throughout my years in

college and in law school he always

advised me to focus on my writing and

said make sure you improve your writing

skills make sure you focus on your

writing skills because that’s what makes

a good lawyer

and I really didn’t understand that

before I started practicing because you

think from the world of Law and Order

and every other lawyer show you’ve ever

watched the lawyering takes place in the

courthouse it’s all about standing up

and giving that breathtaking performance

and that’s what wins your case

but when you start practicing you learn

that ninety percent of the lawyering are

the written submissions that go to the

court and that the judge reads before

you ever stand up and give your

performance

and most of the time the Court’s opinion

is going to be built on those written

summations so all that time that my

father told me

work on your writing skills hone your

writing skills learn how to create a

story with your writing so that the

judges pulled into your narrative before

you ever stand up and utter a word

that’s what formed my practice so he was

my mentor my inspiration my hero and my

mentor in this practice

foreign